Is there anything a natural 20 can’t do?
This is a poster idea I developed to show off the amazingness of tabletop rpgs.
"You attempt to pickpocket the man, but accidentally pull down his pants instead."
"You reach out to push the orc off the bridge, but instead lightly caress his back. He is uncomfortable."
"You try to stab the guard, but you stab your crotch instead. Roll fortitude."
"You say your name is Bob and not Jim. Your lie is misinterpreted and they now believe you are a serial killer."
"You swing your axe, but it slips from your fingers and sails across the room."
"In an attempt to dodge the incoming arrows, you jump into the swarm.”
"You bull rush the enemy but miss and jump off of the cliff."
"You try to land on your feet but you land on your sword instead."
"While providing first aid, your hand slips and you stab him in the heart. He dies instantly."
I CANT BREATHE
"The entirety of the gentry is convinced that Sir Bearington is, in fact, a foreign dignitary and not a non-speaking bear wearing clothes"
- when people don't sit next to me on the bus: offended and relieved
- when someone sits next to me: irritated yet flattered
I love this
"you come here often?"
"hey baby did it hurt when you fell from heaven-"
"FAVOR THE BOW, EH? I’M A SWORD MAN MYSELF"
"hey let me buy you a drin-"
"LET ME GUESS: SOMEONE STOLE YOUR SWEET ROLL?"
"I LIKE SHORTS! THEY’RE COMFY AND EASY TO WEAR!"
"SOMETIMES, I DREAM ABOUT CHEESE"
”are you an angel becau-”
”Talos the Mighty! Talos the unerring! Talos the unassailable! To you we give Praise! We are but maggots writhing in the filth of our own corruption! While you have ascended from the dung of mortality, and now walk among the stars! But you were once man! Aye! And as man you said, “Let me show you the power of Talos Stormcrown, born of the North, where my breath is long winter. I breathe now in royalty and reshape this land which is mine. I do this for you, Red Legions, for I love you.” Aye, love! Love! Even as man, great Talos cherished us. For he saw in us, in each of us, the future of Skyrim! The future of Tamriel! And there it is, friends! The ugly truth! We are the children of man! Talos is the true god of man! Ascended from flesh, to rule the realm of spirit! The very idea is inconceivable to our Elven overlords! Sharing the heavens with us? With man? Ha! They can barely tolerate our presence on earth! Today, they take away your faith. But what of tomorrow? What then? Do the elves take your homes? Your businesses? Your children? Your very lives? And what does the Empire do? Nothing! Nay, worse than nothing! The Imperial machine enforces the will of the Thalmor! Against its own people! So rise up! Rise up, children of the Empire! Rise up, Stormcloaks! Embrace the word of mighty Talos, he who is both man and Divine! For we are the children of man! And we shall inherit the heavens and earth! And we, not the Elves or their toadies, will rule Skyrim! Forever!”
why dont humans have a specific noise that means “there are bees here lets leave immediately” why are elephants more advanced than us
we do have a specific noise, it sounds like this:
“there are bees here lets leave immediately”
Crocodiles are easy. They try to kill and eat you. People are harder. Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first.
please graph your answer
Graphing is where I draw the line.
did you just
it seemed the best fit
Maybe somethings don’t get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can’t. Maybe some of us will never be fully okay, but at least we’re here. We’re still trying. We’re doing the best we can. That’s worth celebrating too. If you’re reading this, congratulations, you made it to today. You made it.
On the night of April 14, 2014, hundreds of schoolgirls at the Chibok boarding school in northeastern Nigeria awoke to the sound of gunfire. They saw men in camouflage approaching and thought soldiers were coming to save them from a militant attack, according to survivors’ accounts.
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